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him calling me up drunk and tellig me everything that is wrong with me especially how I'm not girly enough. He apologized to me, but he's never done that to me before.
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Maybe he's having trouble coping with all this stress just like you are, but in a different way?
I really hope he doesn't get any more drinking troubles that could be a bad thing - good luck with your therapist tomorrow I hope it gives you some clarity and helps you understand more about what you're feeling/what's best.