Well, depending on when i am aware of the dissociative episode or not. I've gone into episodes during sessions with therapist, and co-therapist, and i am aware that not all is right. During those times i am most aware of how my body feels. But basically it'slike i'm not real, and nor is the world. I am curious about everything in the room as if i've never seen it before. To be fair, though, that part which i dissociated into doesn't know the room.

It's happened so much in life that... it's not unsettling, and is an escape for me. I think i'm not alone in this. But when i was a kid, i'd dissociate frequently to quell the boredom of life, and to escape from stressful or traumatic events. So, it's not that i need to cope, because.. it's normal for me.

It happens because life is boring, and my fantasies are... more entertaining; i get to drive race cars, kiss pretty girls, fight jedi and race around the universe like a space pirate. I get to do anything i want while i'm not here.

The real thing, though, is the amnesia and loss time; events unfold and i'm not aware. It's like looking through a drinking glass, or floating above my self watching things unfold and i can't do anything, yet i am speaking and others are speaking, and i am doing things, and other people are doing things, yet it's not me controlling my actions, and i can't remember anything afterwards.