All hail! LOL!
Ok, all may cease hailing now... I have no sense of time, right? Turns out it's not a month after we move, it falls during the move, lol! Somehow I forgot that July immediately follows June(!) And in fact, turns out it currently is June! Who knew?! Ok, so it may not happen. I emailed back trying to find out if the handful of people I actually care about seeing are coming. Waiting to hear. Meanwhile, if it's worth going, I can push the move date up...but it would be positively frenetic to pull off. So BF of course says... this could really stress things up, soooo consider well. Here's the weird thing... As I kicked up the level (just in case), it occured to me that is seemed to be making me more calm(!!!) Well, not calm exactly, but having to do something so focused... it's like if I had to do it so suddenly, I'd be there before I knew what hit me. Couldn't decide if that was good or bad. God knows how many times I've gotten somewhere and said WTH?! It struck me as almost like a hypomania, but externally-driven. I probably won't do it, but even the thought provided an interesting insight. Weird.
Yeah, I think that is true in some ways. (relate to the very things you speak of...) Thinking on the above combined with a serious history of sudden big hypomanic-driven changes... it is and it isn't(!) Yikes! I mean, how often have we done it to ourselves?(!) This has got the ol' brain cell wiggling!
I know EXACTLY what you're saying Confusedinminocom! For years and years, I put off getting divorced with that exact fear! Finally did it though. Considered so hard if I was hypomanic, and didn't think so, but not entirely sure. There's that whole damn "lack of insight" thing. Like to think I'm immune, lol! Btw, where would you be looking to move? We've got this small humble apartment, great tree off the balcony, nice location....

There actually is an answer to what makes this one different. This is the first time ever I'm the breadwinner so to speak. To someone who's spent decades in part-time minimum wage jobs...this is daunting to say the least. And heading in after months of nearly no work....yeah. So combine that with the things mentioned before (job-hunting, getting a new psych, learning my way around...) Yes, I'm still terrified. Worried if I can't pull it off, I might lose it big time, but this conversation is really getting me thinking about some things!