I wish I had told my mom what happened.
I wish I had done more about it.
I wish I had been strong enough to keep him away.
I wish I hadn't accepted his apology.

It's been four years and I still feel sick and dirty from what they did to me.
One of them came to me and apologized. He wanted to be friends. I let him stay in my life. And I regret it. I forgive him, but I cannot forget.

I hate what they did to me.

I feel like I allowed it to happen. And I feel like I let myself down by not doing anything about it. I worry that my mom will find out and think it was my fault.

Even worse, I'm scared she'll pity me.

I don't know if I'll ever have the guts to tell her.