To both of you above. thank you for your reply. I am on an anti anxiety med and it helps
if and when I can adjust the dose to fit the anxiety level. always less than prescribed-if I took the prescribed dose I would not be able to function- so I adjust. I also have some PTSD.
But the "situation" is my trigger. and it is also something I have to- in a practical sense- deal with.
I have recently moved and having to get settled in with new people and was seeing a therapist before. I do many healthy healing things to help me deal- visualization. find books or CD's from experienced people. try to meditate. but I am in a spin. and I guess my original question was this detachment I feel from others. this space between needing to feel like I can relate with another person - like this new therapist or new doctor and my strong intuitive sense that they can not deal with "the story" it is so bizarre. so I feel I am being judged which further exacerbates my anxiety because now I have "the situation" going on plus I am being looked upon as or not being taken seriously when I describe the events going on. Some long time friends say " if I did not know you I would think you were making this up".
So much of the time I can not get so caught up in "my story" realizing everyone has some kind of story. and many have had to bear much worse. but there is nothing easy about this bearing on your own and not being able to relate to others about it.
longer than intended post. but here in these forums I find people I feel relate and easily share kindness. much appreciated.