PTSD is frustrating, just when you think you think you have it under control, it rears it's ugly head. I have cut off contact with my parents and it was the best thing I could do for myself. I tried for years to build a healthy relationship with them before I realized they would never change. It wasn't good for me to pretend any longer and keep the family secrets as I was expected to. Sometimes I miss the concept of having parents, but I don't miss my parents at all, They were toxic and bringing me down. I often wonder how I will feel when my abusers die...I know they will never be held accountable, but I wonder if their death would bring me some type of closure.

Sorry it's tough right now...keep on fighting - you deserve to feel well!