How many people (raise your hands, lol) see people around you and think to yourself, "I used to be happy like them"? I've noticed this with my co-workers, friends, and family. I envy their happiness. I'm sure not all of them are genuinely happy, some are probably like me and just faking their good mood. But I can't even fake it anymore. I just feel angry. Angry that I have to feel depressed and anxious. I used to be happy. I had my worries, but nothing I couldn't handle. Now I can't get out of bed. Don't want to talk to anyone or even see my friends. I had so many interests and now I don't want to go to school or work. I'm angry at myself for not getting over this. I'm angry that it seems so easy for other people to be in relationships and just be happy. I'm probably simplifying it too much. I'm sure they have their struggles too, but when you are 28 and the only one in your family and the only one of your friends to never have an actual adult relationship it can be frustrating. Why do I have to be like this?

My main issue? I thought I truly found some happiness a few months ago. It made my life so much more rewarding. I felt like I was experiencing a part of life that I shut myself off from. I didn't think I wanted it, but I do. It was an amazing feeling, but within a few days it will all be gone. I'll be back to square one except I'll be truly lonely for the first time in my life.

Although, I can say that I am thankful for this board and the people on it. Without it and you guys I don't know where I would be right now.