i have not been supportive to others here. i have been mired in despair and self-pity. i dont belong here, asking for help when others need it more, seeking advice when i have none to offer. i can not fix myself and coming here can not fix me. i am sorry for my selfishness and for burdening others with my problems. i do not belong here. i dont know where i belong. i started here hoping that i could fix my life and find the support and encouragement of others doing the same. there is nothing to fix. in looking for the a new life i only found more pain, and i realized that for me, life is infinitely safer as it is.
if i am miserable i dont wish to spread that misery. if i am lonely i dont look for others to wallow in that loneliness with me.
i wish you all well and hope only for the best for all of you. and i am most relieved that mystry returned. lyle is a truly wonderful and supportive person and his posts always bring me joy.
peace.