I can identify with you Spaceid...........except that I look around me and think "I used to have a life". I know the feelings of envy........but know also this isn't something I would wish on my worst enemy. It's not jealousy, but sadness, that I've been dealt this terrible hand of cards. There is no one to blame.......it just is what it is. I'm getting side tracked here. What I wanted to say was lean on us.......we all lean on each other and somehow keep going. You're still young and have new self recognition. It hurts badly right now......but you know the cliche; as a door is closing, another one is opening. Your heart, your mind, and your whole being are ready to open to the next foward step in your life. That step will be there, and we will be here........thinking of you.........grey