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Jun 12, 2011, 11:43 AM
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Member Since: Apr 2011
Location: Nowhere there, nowhere here.
Posts: 1,184
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Hey Special,
I am sorry to hear you are struggling so much right now  's Could you get in contact with a friend or look for a distraction? Sometimes finding something to distract you would be helpful, what stuff do you normally do when feeling like this? Here if a article from TheSite.org on dealing with urges, this article suggest way's you can help yourself, if you have cut, do you know how to look after your wounds? Because it could be very dangerous if they get infected, I am sorry you are hurting so badly right now
Dealing with urges
The urge to self-harm can leave you feeling powerless and overwhelmed. TheSite.org looks at what's causing these urges and gives you some useful tips on how to deal with them.
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What's making me want to self-harm?
At times, we all might use destructive behaviours to cope with stress. For example, some people may drink too much or take drugs. If you're self-harming, it might be your way of dealing with overwhelming emotions or painful thoughts perhaps caused by traumatic, abusive or difficult experiences in the past.
Difficult feelings, like anger or guilt, can build up inside you until they become unbearable. You might feel the only way to find relief is to self-harm, distracting yourself from the emotional pain by concentrating on the physical one. But if you don't deal with the underlying emotional issues behind your self-harm, each episode may only provide temporary relief and the urge to harm yourself will keep coming back.
Why can I control an urge one day and not another?
When stressful events push any of us over our emotional threshold, it can make us feel overwhelmed and more likely to head for a bottle of vodka than an early night. If things come to a head, the feelings can become so intense that things you normally take in your stride become too much to cope with, causing you to seek immediate release through self-harm. But if things are going well and you're feeling in control, the urges are much easier to resist. "You might be able to live with the urge to self-harm for days and then it can fade, but at other times you can only bear the urge for a few hours before a trigger event takes you over the edge into self-injury," says Wedge, who runs First Signs.
When you don't feel like self-harming
If you're not feeling the urge to self-harm, it's a good time to think about what coping strategies have been helpful in the past that you could use again in the future:
"You might be able to live with the urge to self-harm for days and then it can fade, but at other times you can only bear the urge for a few hours before a trigger event takes you over the edge into self-injury."
Think of the last time you went through something stressful but didn't self-harm and write down anything you did differently. What specific things did you think or do which helped you?
Try to work out what thoughts and feelings lead you to feel the urge to self-harm. List 10 different ways you could deal with these triggers in the future;
How does self-harming make you feel? If it makes you feel in control, think of things you could do to get the same feeling but without hurting yourself;
Write down things you like about yourself and why you want to stop self-harming so you can review it at times you're feeling low;
Choose someone you can quickly get in touch with for a chat when you feel like self-harming.
Self-help tips
There are many self-help tips that may help you, otherwise known as 'alternatives to self-harm', or 'coping tips and distractions'. You might find some are more effective than others. Don't be disheartened if a technique isn't successful. Try a different one to see if it works better for you. Here are a few you might want to try:
The 15-minute rule - if you're feeling the urge to self-harm, give yourself 15 minutes before you do. Distract yourself by going for a run or writing down your feelings. When the time's up, see if you can extend it by another 15 minutes. Try to keep going until the urge subsides;
Meditation - try to visualise the urge as an emotional wave you can surf. Imagine it reaching a crescendo then breaking as you successfully resist its force;
Write a list of things you've achieved that make you feel proud, or fill a box with things that make you happy, such as pictures of friends and loved ones. Keep them handy and look at them when you're feeling bad;
Practice expressing your emotions and feelings through art or writing or talking to a friend.
Questions to ask before you self-harm
If you can recognise the triggers or thoughts involved in the build up to self-harm, you may be able to use alternative coping strategies before the urge gets too strong. Try asking yourself the following questions:
Why am I feeling the need to hurt myself? What thoughts, feelings or events have made me feel this way?
How am I feeling right now and when was the last time I felt this? How did I deal with it then and how did that make me feel?
If I do self-harm, how will I feel about myself later?
Is there anything else I can do to ease this feeling that doesn't involve hurting myself?
Overcoming the urge to self-harm can be an uphill struggle and you may have to push yourself to use these alternatives. Finding ways of dealing with difficult feelings without hurting yourself is an important step towards recovery.
Written by Marcella Carnevale
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http://www.thesite.org/healthandwell...alingwithurges
I hope the above article does help you a bit, and I hope you haven't started cutting yet, is their any hotline's you would be able to call?
Here is another article on Coping tips and distractions, I hope this helps you find alternatives to self harm, their are things you can do to help your self!!
Coping tips and distractions
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No one is going to tell you that it's easy to stop self-harming, especially when you're doing it because you see no other way out. But by finding alternatives, you may be able to reduce the urge to self-harm, as well as minimising the damage.
It may be that you've tried a number or alternatives to self-harming and they don't work - but perhaps there's something you've not tried, or it's just that you're not sure how best to do it. There's several ways you can cope with self-harming, whether it's by distracting yourself, or by finding a substitute for self-harm
Is using an alternative as bad as self-harming itself?
Using alternatives to self-harm will help you get through an intense moment when you may feel a strong urge to hurt yourself. But it's never going to be easy, especially when you're trying to break the cycle for the first time. Doing something like squeezing ice won't cure the roots of your distress, but it may help you to use a more productive coping mechanism and show you that you can cope with stress in a less harmful way. You'll have to make a conscious effort to not hurt yourself, but the important thing is that if you do decide to use an alternative, you've made that choice yourself.
Minimise self-harm damage
If you feel an even stronger urge to self-harm, try the following harm minimisation tips:
Use a red felt tip pen to mark where you might usually cut;
Hit pillows or cushions, or have a good scream into a pillow or cushion to vent anger and frustration;
Rub ice across your skin where you might usually cut, or hold an ice-cube in the crook of your arm or leg;
Put elastic bands on wrists, arms or legs and flick them instead of cutting or hitting;
Have a cold bath or shower.
"One of the reasons that young people say they self-harm and may be cutting or injuring themselves, is that something has happened in their life that has made them feel contaminated or polluted by what's happened, whether it's physical or emotional," says Frances McCann, mental health practitioner. "It becomes a way of 'letting something out' and dealing with feelings of self-disgust or low self-esteem."
If you are going to harm yourself:
Avoid drugs and alcohol as these can lead you to do more damage than you intended;
Get your tetanus vaccination up-to-date;
Try to avoid doing it when in a highly distressed state as you may cause more damage than you intended;
Learn basic first aid;
Self-harm is private, but think about how you can quickly access help if you seriously hurt yourself;
Avoid using tablets or medicines - there is no such thing as a safe overdose.
The A-Z of distractions
Often the best thing is to find out what has worked for other people who understand where you're coming from. TheSite.org asked young people from young people's mental health service, 42nd Street in Manchester, to come up with some of the alternatives that help them.
Alternative therapies: massage, reiki, meditation, acupuncture, aromatherapy.
Bake or cook something tasty.
Clean (and won't your folks/housemates be pleased!).
Craftwork: make things, draw or paint.
Dance your socks off.
Eat sweets or chocolate for an instant sugar rush (but be careful of the dip in your mood once it's over).
Exercise for a release of endorphins and that feel-good factor.
Forward planning - concentrate on something in the future, like a holiday.
Go for a walk (preferably further than the local pub).
Go online and look at websites that offer you advice and information.
Hang out with friends and family.
Have a bubble bath with lots of bath bombs fizzing around you.
Have a good cry.
Hug a soft toy.
Invite a friend round.
Join a gym or a club.
Knit (it's not just for old people you know).
Listen to music.
Moisturise.
Music: singing, playing instruments, listening to (basically making as much noise as you can).
Open up to a friend or family member about how you are feeling.
Pop bubble wrap.
Phone a helpline or a friend.
Play computer games.
Play with a stress ball or make one yourself.
Read a book.
Rip up a phone directory (does anyone actually use them these days?).
Scream into an empty room.
Shop 'til you drop.
Smoke - smokers find that having a fag can help.
Spend time with babies (when they're in a good mood).
Tell or listen to jokes.
Use the internet.
Visit a zoo or a farm (animals do the best things).
Volunteer for an organisation (will make you feel all warm inside).
Watch TV or films - particularly comedies.
Write: diary, poems, a book.
Write negative feelings on paper, then rip them up.
Yoga: meditation, deep breathing - this might help you relax and control your urges.
Zzz - get a good night's sleep.
Written by Julia Pearlman
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http://www.thesite.org/healthandwell...nddistractions
I hope you do manage to reach out to someone, many people on here do care about you and love you, I am sorry you are going through so much right now , look after yourself Special, always here for you!
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