Good to see you back Troy. I worry you know.

If we live on the premise that we should not love others because we might get a broken heart if we lose them, or if we allow someone to love us than we might break a heart. Well a broken heart means that one has been loved. Better a broken heart than a heart that has been broken by never being loved.

When you speak of the therapist and how she helped you, well at least she was there and she did help you. As for her husband, I am willing to bet that he would not have changed anything had he known he would not have her for the rest of his life.
It was wonderful of him to love her, she got married, had a wedding and a loving honeymoon. And, Troy, some people go through their whole lives not knowing that.

We cannot be afraid to give love or be loved on the condition that someone may not live a full life, it is a chance we all take. The truth is that none of us know how long we will live. As the days go by we do get acustomed to living, either in happiness or with illness, or even mental illness. We all seem to think that we will suffer out our lives without realizing that we really don't know how long that will be. So, at the most we must take the time we have and try to appreciate what we can have. If we live longer than someone else, then perhaps we can give love and help to others. Even just giving another person a kind thought, taking a moment to listen and show concern is a gift we can give in our time in life. It can be so meaningful to a person to know true kindness, caring and good intentions directed to them personally.

What your goal should be Troy is to learn not to be afraid of life, but to accept what you have in it and try to reach out and share it with others. Yes, you have seen lives lost, all of a sudden and that is hard to see. But that is a part of life and we all have to accept it, and remember that we need to live our lives instead of giving up. At least remember that if the therapist were here to talk to you about this, she would say the same. She worked with you, with others, chose that work, because she did want to see others have some quality to thier lives.

The best way you can remember her is to finish what she tried to start and continue to heal.
Dont worry about disappointing others, as long as you try and you give love, others will appreciate you. That is really all any of us can do.

If everyone was afraid to love or be loved, then no one would be loved and that would be sad.
Yes, you have seen loss. But you are here and you deserve to heal and live, just like everyone else. And none of us are perfect, oh we all have our little squeeks. But that is what makes us all unique. Instead of punishing yourself for being here, try to be grateful for having more time to spend with others and live and learn, and try to enjoy with no guilt. And never be hard on yourself for being human and having genuine concerns and fears, normal fears.

Open Eyes