I know ths situation is very hard and complicated. There's probably not a lot you can do about your husband if he has shut down the lines of communication. You says he's depressed and understandably so. I don't unerstand the not seeing the kids part. He may need more time before he is willing to talk. Neither of you are in a good place right now. It's really hard to wait for people to be ready when we feel like we are ready to fix it now. Patience is a difficult thing.

You just have to take care if your self and your kids right now. Get focused and your self and healing. Are you seeing a therapist or councilor? You must have a lot of emotions going through your head all at once. It would be good if you had some help to sort it all out, and deal with the individual feelings.

I'm a single mom of three so I know how hard it is dealing with bipolar and kids and no spousal support ( never mind the added problems ). The kids need at least one parent, and I'm sure you are trying your best to hang in there.
Just keep hanging in there, you can get through this. Keep posting here if it helps. I'm here a lot and will always listen.
((((((2sweeties))))))