First off, I think it's odd she can tell her current bf she has feelings for you and he is still around....

That said, if she is not willing to commit to you and leave him, there is something holding her back. Sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. She could just love the attention coming from two separate men at once. Have you been intimate while she's still with this man?

Personally, I think this is just heading down a bad path and not likely to work in your favor. All I really see is you being hurt in the end. If you need certain things from her, and she's not willing to give you those....then it's done. I don't like ultimatums but it sounds like that's the point you're at.