I have had bad things happen to me growing up. And I have a few hang ups because of the trauma.

Your partner maybe feels really guilty over the anxiety and current issues with sex, because you can now see her scars - and she feels ashamed, and vulnerable. Secondly she probably feels guilty that her "problems" are now spilling over onto you and affecting you. Now that's just my guess, that's how I feel.

I went through therapy which has helped a lot. I still have some issues to work on. Sexual abuse isn't the kind of problem you can just talk to anyone about. It's very complex, and scary for the victim to talk about. It takes a long time to heal.

I'm sure you had good intentions with you jokes, but if it were me, I might have been taken back by it a bit, but you would know her better.