that was quite a mouthful. You seem to be under a LOT of pressure. I can sympathize with being in college as it is very stressful while being depressed or having emotional problems. Do you have any close friends that you talk to, hang out or just chill with?

I would also recommend getting a therapist and/or psychiatrist to help. Perhaps just talking about your problems can help. I understand that you need to smoke weed to help release your stress but you need to find a better way to do this. You seem quite intelligent so I don't think I need to tell you of the effects of marijuana on cognition and chemical imbalances which can cause depression.

I also understand your relationship problems. I have my own right now with my girlfriend. I know what it feels like to get the high of being with someone you truly love and without them you are just depressed and lonely. I think you need to find some hobbies or other things to help you pass the time instead of ruminating.