I can't get the psychosis under control. I'm tired, I've been fighting this mood for a month. I've been doing ok with a few hallucinations here and there. I've been sleeping, exercising, taking my meds.

It's 3:30 am I tried to sleep for a bit. I have to be up in a few hours. Tonight I had such bad problems with the voices, and seeing little people. I know they are hiding in my closets and laundry room. Then I got a nose bleed and logically I know it's not the little people causing it, but I felt like it was.

The mirrors are all scary, it's dark, and I feel so nervous that every time I move my gaze I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack in anticipation of the little people coming. I was thinking earlier that I shouldn't have been talking about the voices to my boyfriend or sister, because they would be angry with me. I know this is not logic, but I am half scared to death that it could be true.

I'm reluctant to talk to my pdoc, my last pdoc sort of blew my psychosis off, he told me that lots of people hear voices and 50% were not mentally ill, yay means a lot to me since he diagnosed with a mental illness. I was sent to a step program outside the hospital in sept. when I got there they couldn't have me because of my psychosis at the time so I had to be admitted to the psych ward. I guess I'm nervous about who to talk too and how to talk. The fact that I am getting into a bit of delusions is scaring me a bit.

My boyfriend seems scared of this topic so I don't want to talk to him.
Bit of a rant, sorry

Maybe This should have been posted else where, I dunno