I was in your shoes at one time. I walked into my pdoc's office, early in my treatment with him after relocating, and showed him all my mood charts, notes, etc. He said, "I want you to forget about the bipolar for a while". Now, he didn't mean to stop taking my meds and not be mindful of impending mood shifts, but to not have it rule my life. It was an interesting concept for me, but one that really did work. I tried to engage in other things. Hobbies, time with friends (which may be harder for you since they're involved in mental health things). Do you have any non-mental health related hobbies? Can you volunteer at an animal shelter or take up photography or something? Anything to get your mind to focus on something else for a bit. I think you can be too consumed by it, which then actually makes you worse. I'm back on disability now, but I have a few hobbies that I try to focus on when I feel well. I like to cook, do family history work, and take photographs. My kids also keep me busy at times, but even they have mental health issues that I need to focus on. But you can refocus your life.