Thanks ladies,

I didn't sleep, but I have calmed down a bit. I even got the courage to go into the laundry room and see that there was no little people hiding in there, I think, I didn't do a thorough search or anything.

I thought about it and I'm going to run it by on here, gauge my plan making ability. I will call my T and see if I can see her asap. If I can get in to see her I would rather talk to her first and get her to help me on how to talk to my pdoc. I have only seen him twice and he's been totally unhelpful. I had planned to switch but thought it better to wait till my mood had come down.

I have no rapport with him, and no trust established. I am weary of going straight to him. It is hard for me to discuss this subject matter irl. I don't want to be hospitalized because I am a single mom, I don't have a lot of support here and I don't know who would look after my children.

I'm trying to think about meds, the seroquel seems to be failing, so I am thinking maybe an addition of zyprexa. Haha ok I know that's for the dr. to figure out, but I'm not very trusting with meds either.

I think this sounds like a good plan with out too much chaos. Or maybe it doesn't sound good?

Thanks Both of you for listening to me, I truly hate the feeling of not being able to trust your own mind.

Dragonfly, funny you said that, I get the insight thing all the time too, frustrating when you insight yourself out of receiving help.