Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
I don't know if it's about not wanting to feel the feelings, or about knowing I can't get what I want.
I emailed my T that I can't tolerate when Ts take away the drug.
THEY are the drug, but it's not an addiction, it's a need that feels like an addiction. Not getting it makes me want to die. "It" being love, I assume. Unconditional love forever and ever.
Fantasy and reality mix with my T because she's meeting some of my fantasies and says that's healing. It is, but the bottom line is she can't be there forever and that feels like there's no reason to live. 
Giving it to that baby or child makes me want to scream because I need someone else to give it to me. Holding T's hand gives me some of that feeling I want. |
You have a need for love. Maybe the problem is is that you are only allowing love to come to you through your fantasy and this is why it isn't satisfying? If you can learn to allow love to come as it may, without your control, maybe then it will be enough? Do you use fantasy so that you can be in control?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........
I'm an ISFJ
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