Hi All. I haven't really been on here much and probably should have to read and possibly get feedback from this group. I found that I had de-compensated significantly over the past couple of months. I took the steps to get myself into a partial hospital program, but it was hard decision.

I'm finding it tough to go through. I've made it through part of the program, but I feel so much like the odd duck because I'm not coming from a hospital. I'm trying to stay out of the hospital, so I'm using this as a way to get help before it gets out of hand.

I'm not sure if anyone's been through partial's before, but it's a strange feeling. I am learning a lot of techniques that have been useful, but honestly I'm also frustrated when I leave the program. Today I was so emotionally charged that I had a hard time talking to my wife when I got home.

I'm going to stick it out as long as they (or my insurance company) let me so I can learn as much coping skills/refresh skills. I was just wondering if anyone else had experiences that may be helpful. I participate as much as I can in groups even when I feel a little uncomfortable and think the others will just laugh at me because of what I say.

I'm probably the only one right now who is not frustrated with the program because I volunteered to go into it (or rather I'm frustrated at times, but I will live with it to get better). I don't care that I can't fully relate to the treatment methods because I'm still getting something out of this. I'm not doing this to keep from staying home and sleep, but to keep from falling apart at work so bad that i end up without a job and then in the hospital.

Just thought I'd come here to see if anyone else could relate or if this resonates with anyone.

-a