i have many hugs i can spare.as far as how to express the pain you are in that is a bit more dificult.i have a real hard time doing it and doubt i would be much help.i guess the trick is you have to keep at it over and over again untill it feels right.i'm sure it must be kind of differnt with everyone.

i sure know about feeling parentless.but someone once told me you can not choose your parents but you can sure choose your family.i didnt talk to any of my parents or biological family for many many years.i felt alone and desprate for a family.it was when i felt that the people i choose to have in my life were truely my family and not the people that were forced on me did i feel less alone.the friends i choose to have close to me.and the people who chose to be in my life are very dear to me and i truely consiter them in my heart to be my family.

sorry youare hurting so much .just keep on talking about it i bet your T gets the pain you are in more than you think