((((( Tree )))))

You are getting through this....It hurts. It's scary. It's SO SO HARD....and you are doing what you need to in order to get through it. I hope your appt with T comes quickly and that you are able to make progress to get you closer to the other side. I can understand wanting to run from big feelings, or to want to numb yourself. I do it well...*sigh*...but in the end, the way to deal with this is to work through it with T. SO scary. But know that T loves you and wants to help you so so badly....

We are here for you, Tree.....