glad you're working with some good therapists! that's great =)

in the meantime have you ever tried marking yourself with red marker/similar red writing thing? making the marks the same you would if you were cutting? I haven't personally benefited from that but know that for some people it helps them because it's more like having blood.

you DO deserve to feel sorry for yourself and if you need to talk about something consider writing it out for yourself , or on here if it's within guidelines - you can always PM me if you like. I'm not on all the time but will respond to PM's as soon as I can neways =)

hope things are going ok for you