Are you seeing a therapist at all? I f not I suggest going to see one for some helpful ways to try and stop. You have to want to stop to be able to stop completely. My T told me that SI is like an addiction so it makes sense that part of you doesn't want to stop it. Listen to the healthy part of you that wants to stop. Remember the SI is just there to cover up and prevent you from feeling feelings that you are uncomfortable with. Hope you can get some sort of help with stopping the SI. (((HUGS)))