I've been on some of PsychCentral's other forums before for reasons regarding sex, and parental abuse, but I'm back now to talk about my relationship with my boyfriend.

Ugh. Where do I start... This is about to get really complicated.

This is my first boyfriend. I'm 20 and he's 30. We have been dating for almost a couple years now and we have been in an exclusive relationship from the start. But the problem is that I always play second fiddle to his mom.

His brother was murdered when he was a baby so as a result his mom developed OCD and became overly protective of him. He always blames everyone else in his life for his problems, but never himself or his mother.

His mom is extremely insecure and hasn't had a boyfriend in 30 years, so as a result she treats her son like he is her boyfriend...no, husband, actually, and she expects him to treat her the same. Back when she would date men she would mooch off of them and expect them to solve all of her problems for her financially and emotionally. She has almost no social security because instead of working she would live off of other men. Now that she is in her sixties she needs her son to provide for her because otherwise she'd be homeless and living out on the street somewhere (which she has done before a few times already). When my boyfriend graduated from college almost a decade ago and had to find a house to live in, he asked her to come move in with him so she'd have a place to stay.

And here I am, in the middle of all this. He's only had one other serious girlfriend other than myself. He hasn't had any relationships which lasted over 2 years. Otherwise he tends to date casually and has problems committing. He isn't unfaithful, but he has hopped around from one date to the next because nothing "worked".

I am flattered by the fact that he says he really likes me and wants to date me for 5 years or more. I've personally broke up with him once or twice but both times he came running back.

I don't think I can do this anymore. Him and his mom are a team and I'm always the third wheel. I can see why he hasn't wanted any girlfriends to get close to him. So why does he try to pursue me when he knows his situation won't allow it? Did I mention he is in thousands of dollars of debt?

I love this person but this is ridiculous. I can't tell whether or not I should "make it work" in the name of love, or just take the selfish (but probably also safer) way out of leaving him and his problems alone.

I should have never had sex with him. Sex makes this all so complicated. Now I know why the bible only mentions sex in the context of marriage - I could never marry someone in this condition, yet sex releases that darn hormone oxytocin and not only forges but strengthens the intimate bond between us. We waited a year to have full-blown sex and now I'm thinking I should have kept waiting! The problem is that in the first month we dated, we were already doing other sexual activities. We should have waited to do all of those too!

Wait before you have sex, everyone! Not just intercourse, but everything else, too! It just confuses everything. And since a part of me is still a little conservative, I can't imagine having sex with anyone else in the future! We have a strong bond but it will never be as strong as the bond between him and his own mom. The only thing he seems to agree to realize here is that, he and his mom can do whatever they want together, except have sex! I guess that's the only thing that we have that his mother can't get from him or give to him. (shakes head)