I'll just start by saying I have serious trust issues to begin with. Trusting someone, it seems to me, is just giving them the power to hurt you.

Anyway, I especially have problems with therapists in that regard, starting with my psychologist when I was 5, who ratted me out to my parents when I told him about how my dad treated me. Most recently, I had gotten miserable enough to try treatment again (bipolar, anxiety, PTSD mostly). The doctor turned out to be crazier than me, trying to make me his friend outside of therapy, calling me to babble about his problems for hours on end, then sending the police to my house in a mere two hours instead of trying to ring my phone more than once when I forgot about one appointment. I fired him, which prompted him to call the police again and lie his butt off, claiming I had threatened suicide so they'd drag me from my home and lock me up for the night.

Here's my question. I feel like this was the last straw in my ability to ever trust someone enough to actually talk about my inner life, and in particular trust anyone who might be described as a therapist. I know I'm in a bad place and not getting any better on my own, so I know I need help. But I also can't trust any potential therapist enough to give a remotely honest answer to "what brings you to therapy?" How am I supposed to find someone I can trust when I am necessarily giving them the power to hurt me like that on a whim?