Hi Zoo,
I've followed what has happened since that initial rupture.
I would have felt the same way as you have (if in your situation) I'm sure.
It makes me feel like talking to your T myself. Like I wish there was something that could be said that would make a difference... not that there's anything that would help anymore than what you have done for yourself...you've done so well!
You REALLY have. You're doing so well. I hope you know that.
I'd be really proud to know someone/have a friend like you.
Look after yourself!