Hey, that was a really cool video! Thanks.

I am somewhat reluctant to post additional information about myself on here because I am a future LMHC.

I have been seeing a new therapist for about 1 month but I haven't had the chance to meet with him yet since all of this stuff has happened, but we are meeting in a week and I will probably have enough material to keep us busy for the next few sessions.

I am going to find out today whether or not I am losing the job that provides me with free room & board. At this point, I honestly don't care if they let me go. I just want it to be over with. I screwed up professionally and am willing to take responsibilty, but I am fed up with the hostile environment I've been subjected to there by leadership. Even if they don't fire me, I am going to put in my notice and leave. I can't imagine keeping my sanity if I stay there. I have thought about taking legal action against the business (I have documented a lot of things in my favor + witnesses) but I don't know if I would want to put myself through the stress that comes with that. These people do not have kind intentions toward me, and I would hate to see them at their worst.

Last night was another sleepless night. I am sitting upright in my bed now with my laptop. Other than trouble falling asleep and on a regular cycle, I have also been feeling a lot of social anxiety. Today, I went grocery shopping and froze for a half minute in the store thinking I was going to have a panic attack. It was even worst on the train. Depending on what neighborhood I am walking in the city, sometimes I get nervous that someone might be following me and about to attack me. Crazy, right? But once I'm home, I feel safe. This is not like me at all.

I've been thinking a lot more about mindfulness, which my previous T turned me on to a little, and my current T has really been teaching me about. I've also been thinking about exercising again, but it's been tough trying to motivate myself.

Unfortunately, I cannot collect unemployment. The job I'm going to lose (probably) today only provided room & board, not money, and I never did any formal paperwork that would track me as an 'employee'. And the second job that I now think I could either keep or lose is only temporary and I just started it a few weeks ago. I doubt I could get any kind of unemployment compensation.

The good news is that I have another roof over my head for the summer and will have loans to get me through school and whatnot starting in a couple of months. If I can find a new place to live for September (the sooner the better for anxiety purposes) and brush up on my self-care skills (sleep, eat, exercise) then I should be ok

And of course, I am wide open to any suggestions. Thank you all very much for connecting with me. These forums are a blessing.