I am in Therapy, I keep grief reactions at a distance because they are so overwhelming, and I am not very good at processing negative emotions, I realize I need to work harder to process this after my reactions posting this on the forum though last night. I went into Therapy almost 7 months after I removed him, I fought it, I thought I should have been able to keep my emotions under check, afterall I had not seen him in so long but again I had not realized how much this has hurt me. But thank you for the words of support everyone.