Hi Wiki,

Please try to be easy on yourself, you sound like you are really beating yourself up here and it isn't nesscary at all, honestly. You have done nothing wrong and I agree with others that infact you are taking too much of the blame here. From his response it sounds like he does care and wants to help but that he still maybe doesn't understand the full depth of your struggle with the situation. This does not mean therapy isn't going to work for you. Remember Therapists aren't psychic and they get things wrong too, much of the time without even realising it. One wrong word can really upset a client who is already vulnerable. You do not and should not put up with him always being late or playing on his phone, I cannot tell you how completely wrong he is in doing this. Again that is not your fault it is his and it is not acceptable for him to do these things.

I can understand it's hard to tell someone you are hurt by their actions but you need to really tell him these things, in his response he is saying he wants to know these things. This is your therapy, he is providing a service and you deserve the best service you can get from him.

I know you say that you cannot start again, but does it not feel like you are starting again so much with this T? It is possible that his way of working just isn't helpful to you and that is not your fault either. People often have to change therapists because they don't perhaps gel well with the Therapist, they find the therapists way of working isn't helpful or they may find the therapists way of working is infact harmful! Therapists themselves know that clients can end up changing therapist and they must accept this and even may help clients to find someone else. Please don't rule out seeing someone else. I know it's difficult to imagine seeing someone else but I believe you have a lot of strength that you don't even realise. The strength that you had to even take those first steps to seeing a therapist!

It will be ok hun xxx