Boundaries are tough but I guess we also have to look at it from T's point of view. What if they regularly had loose boundaries? What if the boundaries shifted from session to session or client to client? And without boundaries, wouldn't we be more confused about how we should interact with our therapists?

I think we believe there are only boundaries in our relationships with our T's. But we apply boundaries to every human relationship. Maybe you have a friend who visits but she knows not to visit in the morning - that is not a good time for you. That is a boundary. Take a look at your own lives and notice that they exist - implicitly or explicitly.

When I first accidentally crossed an unknown boundary with my T I was mortified. I almost quit therapy after that because I was so embarrassed. As it turned out we spent a whole session discussing my reaction to the boundary and it became clear that my reaction gave some clues to my own behavior in RL.

So, even though I understand the need for boundaries and I'm scrupulous in my attempt not to cross them, I still secretly wish that my T would add extra minutes to my session if we're in the middle of something. She had done that once but it was more for her satisfaction about something we were involved in rather than my need.

Oh well. I guess we could also imagine therapy without boundaries and what a nightmare that would be. So gratitude is in order actually. The boundaries give us a precise arena wherein to lay bare our souls and the safety that can be resident in that boundaried land is where our healing lies, I believe.

Oh, and yeah, the psycho-babble jargon can be frustrating sometimes.