Meds. (lost track of number!), psychotherapy (EVERY kind), ECT, hospitalization... I am looking at TMS now. I cannot get out of bed most days, I cry at the drop of a hat, I've pushed everyone away. I can remember "me" from 19 years ago, and if I'm not too sad, I can still think of things I want to do (enjoy). I want to LIVE, not just exist. I am new at this forum thing, but I guess I am seeking...something...connection?