Hi Moth
I understand your cynicism where the purported "altruism" of most people stems from.

You are most sensitive to others, and insightful to see it so clearly; this would betray a completely empathic, true compassion for others in you.

So much superficial kindness can and does make one bitter.
It made me bitter at one time.

Then something happened which changed my perspective significantly.

I realized what I was capable of giving to others; regardless of their inability to return the same. I felt blessed, rather than cursed by my painfully strong sensitivity to the world; and I began to reach out and feel others pain.

Yes, it made me feel better; not that it makes me feel like "Gee, aren't I a good person"; no; I was born this way, and it's painful to be this way, even if I can help someone, it still drains me; it's a way to channel my sensitivity in a constructive manner. It's a gift that was given me, and I must give it back to be a whole person.

There are truly caring people in the world.
They are blessed with acute sensitivity to others, you sound as if you are one. Pax