I agree with what Farmergirl said. My T is CBT and I have never been punished or rewarded for homework that I have or havent done. Of course if I have done it he will encourage me, but if I havent we will talk about why I havent. He does not get angry or punish me in any way. I have also found that contrary to what a lot of books on CBT say, the therapeutic relationship has been a huge focus for us (maybe that's because I/m BPD and have that need because my RL relationships are not great) and we spend a lot of time talking about it. T has always said from the beginning that "we are in this together, I want to work shoulder to shoulder with you". I have never felt he has been in control of the relationship or the therapy.