Peaches, I think your T should establish better boundaries around her email communication with you as you are getting hurt due to your unfulfilled expectations. The question about disorganized attachment seems like one that could be asked in session, rather than something a person needs to know immediately, but maybe it was indeed critical for you? If so, maybe the urgency of your need to know was not apparent to your T. Also, she may be trying to get you to go with fewer emails between sessions, and so she waits until session for what she judges are not critical needs. If the latter, I think she should communicate to you that this is something she would like you to work toward rather than leave you with expectations that are not met.

This business situation sounds like one where you have a salary and as part of your job, you answer phone calls and emails. You are paid to do this as part of your day. I view my business relationship with T as different. I think of it is fee for service, which is only the minutes we are in session together. I do not expect him to call and email me in between sessions in order to maintain a business relationship with me. He fulfills his responsibility to me in those 50 minutes. He also has a responsibility to have me hospitalized if I should be suicidal. Beyond this, he doesn't have to do anything! Another business model extends the professional relationship outside of your face-to-face time but charges for any time spent on you. For example, my lawyer bills me for every phone call or email. Don't like it, but that's her business model and I can go elsewhere if I want something else. I respect that Ts also get to determine their business model. My T doesn't charge for reading or answering my emails but my messages are only on the topic of reschedulings so take very little of his time and don't require him to do any research or worry about wording and being therapeutic by email. His phone calls are now responded to by a third party. This is his model. My daughter's T has a model that includes charging for any phone call over 10 minutes long. I wonder if there would be fewer misunderstandings and hurt feelings if your T were clearer about her business model?

I know this is a continuing source of discontent for you with your T and I hope you can discuss it and work it out. I really think your T needs to establish clear expectations and then stick to them. I think you may be feeling hurt because she said she would respond to informational emails between sessions and then she didn't. If she says she will, then she should. Otherwise, don't make promises to the client. Or she could say she will respond to informational emails if she has time, but otherwise she'll address it in session. Then you wouldn't be so hurt. Hope you can work it out.