::raises hand::

My dad's also real big on the whole "I provided for you" shtick. I need to keep reminding myself what a cheap cop-out that is for a guy who was making 200, 300, 400 thousand dollars a year while beating and taunting me for amusement. And the speaking Japanese thing just about sums up every conversation I've ever had with him.

I had a really hard time cutting my mother loose. Kept going back for more abuse from her. In hindsight it was a delusional attempt to get the approval and love I thought I could get if I just stopped being unworthy of it. Probably would still be trapped there if she hadn't joined a cult and made my attendance a requirement for further contact.

Sorry, I'm getting sidetracked by my own B.S. now. Really just wanted to say thanks for sharing, Lavalamp, you helped me feel not as alone in this. And it's heartening to see you working through this -- it gives me hope that progress is possible, even if "it's a process".