Quote:
Originally Posted by lastyearisblank
It's not demonizing. If you are 20 you are a hot young thing. You should be going out being with other hot young things not chaining yourself to an untrustworthy older man. Because this is a time for you to grow as well. You can learn a lot from just experiencing and dating other people who don't already have so much baggage as this guy. I'm sorry but that's true. And I'm reading your post and a lot of caretaking and focusing on this guy is coming through but what about you? Please don't be flattered into being in a relationship, the words might be there but the substance is not going to be. You are going to have to work so hard to keep this person happy but when it's all over, the balance of happiness and sacrifices is not going to be equal and I think you know that now.
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I probably might have done that if this guy wasn't my first. My boyfriend knows that his situation is almost incurable; He has not only given me permission but has encouraged me to date around, but I guess I'd feel weird dating a bunch of other guys when I'm already having sex every weekend with this guy. Normally I think I would date around and THEN select ONE to be serious with and sleep with. But since my boyfriend and I became sexual early on, it's hard to just "forget he exists." I also feel weird because he says HE isn't interested in dating around, yet he wants me to do it. It's like he's chosen me as the one but doesn't want me to choose him back. Weird. I guess he doesn't really see himself getting rid of his problems after all, and is actually hoping I find something better than him.
Don't get me wrong, though, I finally went out and tried this dating thing a tiny bit. I tried going on dates with 2 guys my age within the past year. One of them turned out to be a slobby jerk who only wanted to get in my pants on the first date so I left his house and never called him again. The other guy has been calling me lately; I made out with him once and then almost immediately lost interest in him. And some other guys look interesting one day at school but the next day I look at them and don't feel interested anymore.
I don't think I'm flightly, more like, I'd feel bad if I were to become serious with another guy at the same time that I'm sleeping with another. And really, how do you be serious with 2 people, anyway? That's not really possible... unless you are promiscuous in my opinion...
I think I like chaining myself to one guy because I embrace monogamy. I'm not really into the whole college dating scene mentality of "let's just throw ourselves at whoever we want, with no strings attached, because we're young and that makes it okay." I always thought that sounded very trashy.