I know the feeling. I started seeing a therapist just recently after seeing a psychiatrist in the same office for nearly two years. I had bad experiences with so called mental health people. I decided to take care of myself for 15 years before my depression got so bad I could no longer sleep. It took me 4 months to decide to make the appointment after researching the best psychiatrists in the area. Thank god she was nice. I had decided that all psychiatrists were mean and somewhat evil. But my doctor was so nice and she gave me choices and did not threaten doom if I did not take the meds. She gave me information and a choice. She did not bully me into seeing a therapist. I started to trust her after 2 years and when I ran into a really big problem, she helped me decide to talk to a therapist. This lady is also really nice, but I still do not trust her because she can make me hurt. i have only seen her4 times and this may work. So my point is, there is someone out there who can help you. They are not all mean and evil like you think. Try finding someone associated with a large group practice or large university. I drive 50 minutes and it is well worth the trip to get someone who can help. Good luck to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!