I don't think I articulated my original point well. I don't think it's a good idea to read the forums frequented by SOs of people with BPD. I used to think it was a good idea to get their perspective, but I now realize that most of them are too stressed out to be fair, and are using those support forums to vent their own frustration. I think what they say is mostly due to frustration and extreme cases -- not their calm perspective or average experience.

So sunsetbay, PLEASE do not think that you're not capable of being nice just because someone there said that. They weren't talking about YOU (rather, they were making an unfair generalization), and they are seriously stressed out.

Helga made a good point "not to take anything personal from someone who suffers from it" [ie, the disorder] but at the same time, please don't take it personally that the stressed-out SOs are making generalizations that probably don't specifically apply to you. Hang in there,
Love,
LMo