Ok, so my husband is a highly sensitive guy, and has a few mental health issues - anxiety, d(x) of ADD, and has had a few bouts of severe depression.

He gets rather paralyzed easily when faced with things he doesn't know how to do. He is terrified of making mistakes. It's a big gap in our relationship, because I'd rather make mistakes in the course of progress knowing that at the end, I'm further along than when I started, whereas he'd rather not make any progress than make a mistake. We fight about this a lot - it's our #1 therapy topic.

My therapist thinks I should go a little easier on him. I do try - I've learned to let the little things go. However, I have my own demons and "letting things go" is much easier said than done. I wonder if I ever really succeed in "letting go" because while I can usually contain my words, it doesn't mean that the resentment isn't festering inside. This is why I wonder if my therapist is giving me good advice.

The current dilemma: he had 4 days off this week. He spent about three hours doing yardwork - I was really proud of him. I would have rather he spend three days doing yard/house/career advancement work, but three hours is more than nothing, and I appreciate the three hours he gave. (notice that I'm already complaining that it's not enough...). However, while doing the yardwork, he accidentally broke the latch on one of our basement windows. I just discovered it today - the window was gaping open.

MY demon is that I am (what others say is) irrationally security-conscious. I keep the house security alarm on every night, keep Mace next to my bed, and have a few panic buttons around the house that call the police directly. I don't live in downtown Philly anymore -- it's really safe where we live now. Even my neighbors in Philly thought I was a bit paranoid, though. Weird, I know, but there is history that leads to that. Anyway, I called him, panicking, to ask if he knew that the latch had come off, and he said he knew about it -- that it happened on Tuesday when he was doing the yard work. What! Since TUESDAY? This means that anyone could have broken into our house in the last few days. This is a BIG issue for me. But, when I started to react during our conversation, he said "see? this is why I don't do anything around the house. It's never enough for you. Instead of appreciating that I cleaned around the window well, you're complaining about the latch!"

So there is my dilemma. Should I have kept my panic to myself, favoring his sensitivity about making mistakes? I'm not upset that he broke it -- I'm upset that I'm finding out about it 5 days later and that he hasn't made any effort to fix it. I'm going to the hardware store now to buy a new latch, but what should I have done?

I lose either way, it seems