Zoo I agree with Tree. I think a brand new start would be helpful. Make a list of what you want in a T........and what you don't want(what you have learned from all of these experiences) and then maybe talk to someone again..........your case manager or someone else and see what they recommend. You may want to interview several potential Ts before you decide. You have mentioned before that you need someone with good stable boundaries, somewhere that you can feel safe, etc. I think that is really important. Finally, I do see a potential conflict for you to continue going to your T's office, especially where you are still really bonded to her. I can see how that would be really tough as my new MFT is in the same place as my old T(can't change it, long story) and it is hard for me. Sending hugs your way. (((((((zoo))))))))