Another example of an issue I had with BOTH of them (not at the same time, of course):

When I was 16 and just got my driver's license, I got into a bad accident on an icy road. As a result, I drive like a little old lady when it's barely sprinkling rain. Driving on snow or in heavy rain simply terrifies me. Both my ex and my husband are very confident drivers in bad weather, and often drove at what I considered unsafe speeds on potentially slippery roads. Now, I will be the first to admit that my judgment of the road slipperiness is not a good standard to follow. But still... if I am scared, then I'm scared. Why would they still drive faster than I am comfortable with? Why wouldn't they slow down out of consideration of my feelings? Both had the same answer for that -- because my feelings are irrational and they shouldn't have to change their behavior because of it.

Good point. In general, I agree with that kind of response. However, it turns into a fight because then they turn it on ME and say that I am critical of their driving, turning it into a situation where it is expected that I should apologize for criticizing them and hurting their feelings.

Both of these examples are of things that I associate with physical pain and trauma, and are not COMPLETELY unreasonable concerns. Or are they? No, darn it! They aren't unreasonable! Or are they?