I completely understand. The word c*tter does make me cringe, always has and probably always will. I have always been sensitive to that word, even before I started SIing. I get uneasy when people refer to it at c*tting around me, even more so if they know that I SI. I won’t let my T use the word c*tting or c*tter in sessions, it makes me too uneasy and vulnerable.
It’s interesting that you bring up the book thing as well. I have this weird love of reading books that are about SI yet I too cringe when they use the word c*t.
I don’t know what it is. To me the word c*tter seems more derogatory, more of a put down than anything else. It’s almost like it’s a way to label people without any sensitivity to the issue itself. It’s almost as though the term c*tter has been thrown around too much in a negative way. I prefer the term SI. It seems more sensitive and safe.
You definitely aren’t alone in feeling this way