Thank you for that Paraclete. Yeah, the guilt about all that was really bad. I felt like such a bad husband for havimg those thoughts about my T. My wife has been my rock through all this - and long before I started therapy. When I started having those thoughts about my T I felt like I was living a double life. Even almost said my T's name during intimate moments a couple times.... I thought my my wife deserved SO MUCH BETTER than that!!

And I now know that those feelings for T are regarding unmet needs as a child. And that my T was fulfilling those needs. And that my reaction to having those needs met were taking grown up forms. My T explained that to me and has been helping me to get those same needs met by my wife too, so that my reactions came be more appropriately directed. And it's working! Has taken alot of "re-negotiating" on our part - anything from splitting up the houshold chores to re-defing our physical relationship... But we're getting there!

Thanks for your input. Makes me feel like I'm not the only one...