So there is a thread going on about how MI is biological and spirituality has nothing to do with it.

Don't know... I refuse to think of myself as something dysfunctional bundle of neurons. I refuse to think of myself as broken chemical factory too... I always believed i have soul... even at times when highly doubted existence of deities... for some reason, it was my darkest times...

I mean if we accept this... why live? Who would care for bundle of neurons? Why not end it all, globally... if we are no more there is no suffering.

Of course this is extreme point of view... but each time I hear talk about bipolar genes....my mind goes this direction.... will they send us bundles of bad genes to some gulag so we don't taint the gene pole no more? What is the worth of human life if we are just constellation of atoms?

What if there is a spiritual aspect to suffering? What if we are simply broken/scarred/lost souls that need to find a way? What if we are unhappy because we ditched God and nations, political ideologies, DSM, sports teams and gambling on stock market is a poor substitute?

What if we just need bit more real struggle in our lifes... so we don't turn it inwards?

I admit... i don't know what to do with this existence. i enjoy luxury of self-pity. I talk to deities when I need something... I am not sure if i can be full time existentialist,but do be a part time one feels hypocritical. I sometimes get bout of wanting not to feel... and I am embarrassed for them.