((((Zooropa))))
It's not my intention to make you second guess your decision. Not at all.
So I hope you don't feel that way.
I think really digging into everything that may be underlying this situation would be helpful for you going forward, especially for when/if you go see a new therapist.
What you said here jumped out to me, and makes me thing your reaction to all of this isn't just about your T:
Quote:
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I don't think I have ever in my life been strong enough to walk away from someone who was causing me pain before. It's about time.
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You just went through a difficult and stressful medical procedure. Maybe you felt powerless and it was obviously triggering for you. Maybe your reaction to this situation with T is a way to deflect some of the emotions that surrounds all of that? Or maybe a way to feel you have some power over some of the hurt in your life?
I once 'quit' therapy after I felt very hurt and misundertood by T. I ended up going back a month later. And part of the reasoning behind why I went back was thinking how would it be different with another T? Or better?
EVERY T has the potential for hurting, misunderstanding, messing up, setting boundaries, etc. etc.
I hear you when you say how much it hurts.
