The crushes are now over. Gone as quick as they started. She spent the last two days depressed and crying, saying she is embarrassed, humiliated, and cannot understand why she does this. There is great guilt over the crush, the phone bill and ignoring the kids and me. This is what makes it difficult. I get fed up the the point where I cannot take any more and suddenly, my wife is back.

This brought up guilt over the affair, and she cried as if it had just happened yesterday, not four years ago. For those who asked, the psychologists she had the affair with was not her psychologist. She had not been diagonsed yet, though you can bet he knew. Her post-diagnosis psychologist knows the man professionally and was not surprised that he was preying on attractive women with psych disorders. My screen name is taken from my favorite John Wayne western, and my personaility is like the character. It took a long talk from my priest to stop me from putting the hurt on this predator before he could do this to someone else.

Yes, she is on meds and takes them. She does not do much councelling, as that she has an understandable distrust of psychologists.

Interestingly, the crushes she has had since the affair and BPD diagnosis have been men who live far away or celebrities, as if she is looking for a
'safe" crush that cannot advance to the next level.

She has replaced the crushes with obsessively cleaning the house. Does anyone else have OCD along with BPD? Her psychiatrist has said it is difficult to control OCD with meds. Anyone have any advise? I want to help my wife, but do not know how.