I know it's hard to accept limits when we want more than our T is willing to give us but it's almost impossible to accept limits when they keep changing or when they're confusing and subjective. When your T asked YOU if she could hug you the other day and told you to call her and let her know how it went, that comes across as inviting you to lean on her during this time for emotional support. If she didn't want you to do that, it was her responsibility to be clear about that instead of behaving in a manner that would encourage you to believe she was there for you. You weren't the one who asked for a hug; she did. You weren't the one who asked if you could call her; she invited you to do that. And then the next day she told you not to call her for emotional support. How were you supposed to know that when she extended herself to you in a way that would suggest she was making herself available for support, at least through this triggering procedure?
My T does make a distinction between emotional support for treatment issues directly related to therapy, and general emotional support for life problems, although he recognizes that sometimes they overlap. A triggering medical procedure would be one of those overlapping situations where he would be more available for support than he would be if I had "normal" anxiety about an upcoming procedure. He would expect me to get support from friends for "normal" anxiety but he would understand that my friends may not know how to be supportive in a very triggering situation. In general, though, he discourages me from relying on him for emotional support for life problems because he doesn't want me to become unnecessarily dependent on him and he wants me to develop real life relationships that are fulfilling. So I can understand if that's what your T wants you to do, but a triggering procedure is definitely in that grey area and the bottom line is that she behaved in a way that would lead you to believe that she was available. If she did not want to be available, she should not have told you to call her. She should have told you she wants to hear about it at your next session instead.
I know it's easy for any of us to overreact under the kind of stress you've been experiencing but I really think her mixed messages are contributing greatly to your confusion and distress. It's her job to moderate that by remaining calm herself and by only offering exactly what she is willing to provide, not reacting emotionally in the moment and then accusing you of not following the rules.