I am off to take a 'look' at myself. I would rather run naked through WalMart than to do this! This is the first time that I have met with her twice in one week. She was concerned that this may trigger me since it is out on the norm.

I am determined not to get anxious because if I do, she may think, "See, I knew this would trigger you. Maybe we shouldn't meet twice a week anymore."

Then I will feel such a let down! I can't do twice weekly that often, so I want to when I can. So, I have to calm down.....I have to calm down.......I must calm down....

One reason I am getting anxious is because we are going to go way back to the relationship I had with a friend 13 or so years ago. I have contacted this friend through facebook within the last week. I told her that I was in therapy and doing some work on relationships.

I asked her if she would be okay with going back there with me. I wanted her to give her perception of what happened to us back then. I asked her to email my therapist and told her how much that would help me in this therapy process.

She was really open to it. She only had kind words to say and said she would help in any way she can. I told her that my therapist would keep her email confidential if she did not want me to see it.

This has me in knots today. I don't know if she has sent an email yet. I have no idea what I am walking into this morning. I told my therapist that I was over the emotional feelings about this relationship, but I don't think I am. I am crying this morning, so that tells me that the hurt is still there.

Anyway, I may have already posted about this somewhere, but just needed to 'talk' about it before I leave. I am hoping that a Diet Coke and driving slow on the way to my session will help to ease up this anxiety. I want so bad to have a great session today. We had a wonderful session on Tuesday. I want to continue in that ability to really 'talk' with her and not sit there like a stump!