My birth family, too is shrinking. I guess that means I have to grow, as I have to put more in where there are gaps. Others used to do that stuff, and being gone, there are gaps of silence, and non movement in many areas. I just got back home from nearly 25 years of absence (some visits), and the holes in my family are apparent...where my mom used to do stuff...where my brother used to do stuff...where aunts and uncles (all now deceased) used to do stuff. By stuff, I naturally mean how their presence was felt, as well as what they brought to situations (holiday gatherings, outings, crisis times, daily living).
At first a deep sadness held me..as time goes by, I see ways to join the past with now...reconstructing family albums, talking to existing members about their recollections, bonding with family members that have been distant in the past (second cousins, neices, nephews, and the such), visiting the remaining elders.
I am now the matriarch of our shrinking family unit. I cook meals that my dad and sister haven't had for about 15 years now since my mom passed, help my dad who is 86 in his garden, bring my sister on outings with me, clean and paint rooms that have been empty and unused for years...basically I re-energize where I can, and attemt to bring light to the small dark corners. I do this for my comfort as well as theirs.